I'd give anything to be at the beach right now. I was daydreaming in class today... Thinking of the picture of the welcoming gates at my beach house.... For a moment, I wanted to disappear and freeze time in that moment that I remember waking up and walking to those gates to stare at the hypnotic sea...... Anywhere but in this cold, gloomy, erratic weather. I feel so affected by the weather that my mood and motivation is so affected by it!

I'm not really sure sometimes why stagnant things bore me, because I have the tendency to feel so displaced in such a familiar comfort zone. We were talking about incentives in my Philosophy class and I'm trying to find some sort of incentive to motivate me.

"Hmmm.... What's in it for me?"

I think its just an emotional slump right now because I'm so used to being in a non-controlled environment that suddenly I find myself in a structured, monitored, and routined environment where everything is just tack, tack, tack. Viola!

*Boy, I'd swim across the Lake Geneva in this cold weather just to be back at the beach, under the sun...*


I'm hoping that things will turn up. I miss the atmosphere that Montreux once impressed upon me... I'm not sure entirely if it was the company I had and the best friends I had with me when I was here then... or if it was some sort of cosmic boom in my life and now is a cosmic trench of slow-downs and anonymity.
Not that I'm complaining about the people I'm with now. I've met some cool cats so far from this semester's BBA students and I'm happy to have been able to come back and rekindle my relationships with friends who are still living in Montreux, Luzern, and all over...

But, God, I sure do miss those people who mattered so much then... and even greater now!

I miss finding the most pointless purpose for the oddest things.
I miss laughing my heart out until I cried.
I miss trying to find the best route home after a night of drinking out.
I miss sharing the stress over some stupid project or exam.
I miss the feeling of knowing that there's always someone in the crazy crowd who'd dance with you til the lights at the club turn up.
I miss going to brunch and seeing the mischievous grins of my friends and people who bore witness to some antic from the previous night's inebriation.
I miss looking at my camera and finding the funniest pictures.

I miss everything. Every moment. Every person I treasured.



I'm ok being in school. The subjects are interesting, lecturers are great, my class is wonderful, and the people around me are fine.... But there's something missing... I don't know why. Overanalyzing it would be too dramatic and perhaps depressing...

I guess I'm looking for some cosmic shove, tug, or pull... I don't know yet. Some sort of reciprocity perhaps? I don't know really.

I'm looking for something, someone...Je ne sais quoi. If someone figures it out, let me know.. Because right now, I don't... and I just find comfort in dreaming of the sea once more.

*No Stress. Life is Good.*